Love in an elevator

I love today! Every 8 weeks I come across the best day...the day I get my hair done. Aside from removing 3 inch black roots and all traces of white trash trying to emerge, it's the greatest feeling ever to have someone do my hair for me. Considering I spend close to an hour drying and straightening my own hair every other day, it's joyous to have someone else do it for me every once and awhile. If I were a wealthy woman I would be going to a salon once a week. I guess old women do that too for their weekly shampoos. There is a greater probability I will make it a habit by virtue of old age rather than wealth, but either way it will be a treat when it's more regular than once every 56 days.

I'd like to raise awareness of something that I have found to be disturbing for years, but never had the proper venue to voice my concerns. The time has come that we need to learn and adopt proper elevator etiquette. Since I graduated college and took my first job not a day has gone by that I have not ridden an elevator. I have worked in a half dozen offices, but all have had the old Otis elevator in common. In these years I have seen an array of offenses that really burn me. The first is the person who dives between the closing doors like it's the last flight out of hell. Sir, there are eight elevators and another one will be here in 6 seconds. Is there a reason you had to go all Indiana Jones on us who are in the elevator preparing for takeoff? It just seems a bit dramatic for a simple routine ascent to the 4th floor. Secondly, I have to call out the smokers. I'm sorry but I really feel you ought to have a designated elevator for smokers or make them take the stairs. There is nothing worse than to be shoved in a 5x5 postage stamp with the Marlboro man first thing in the morning. I don't want to have to smell the remnants of exhaled Newports and more importantly, I would like to exercise my right to smell fresh and clean. After spending one minute confined in minuscule space with one heavy smoker I come out wreaking of nicotine and carcinogens. It's not right. Maybe those fake cigarettes sold at the mall kiosks aren't so ridiculous if it means I don't have to smell you, or worse spend the day smelling like you. The final, and most annoying of all of the elevator no-no's goes to those who get on before they let others off. WTF?!?!?! It happened to me just a few hours ago. The elevator gets to the ground floor and upon opening some overeager moron has wedged himself into the elevator and amongst 5 people who are at the same time trying to exit. He pushed me out of the way to get on to the elevator before I could even try to get off and out if his way. It completely disrupts the flow of elevator traffic and makes for really awkward shuffling, moving, and adjusting. If you just wait a few seconds we will clear off and give you plenty of space and time to board. There is no need to treat it as if it's the NASA shuttle Discovery preparing for lift off. You aren't going into orbit, you are being rocketed to you mundane job in your cubicle. What's the deal?

And finally to close this edition of my blog, I would be remiss if I didn't revisit last week's angst towards relationships and those who are in them. Let me apologize for being so judgmental. Let me also express that I have found a new outlook on things. It's amazing what one week can do for the psyche! I credit graduate school with giving me a broader view of perspectives and people's realities. I have come to realize that my idea of love--and what I look for in a relationship is not the same as the person next to me. We all as individuals place different meaning and value on emotions and on relationships. I cannot tell you that your reality is wrong, just because it's different than mine. That said, I just want everyone to be happy. If love that is convenient and cost effective makes you happy than have at it! To each his own!
I will however not adopt a broader view on acceptable elevator behavior. I feel that we as a species are capable of following common practices to make for better transport to our respective destinations.


Peace out

Gripes

It has been almost two weeks since my last blog. I have sort of been in a funk and whatever I would have written in that time frame would have been bitter and angry. I am a fairly upbeat person by nature, but sometimes I have pretty ugly mood swings which can send me plummeting into the depths of brief depression. It waxes and wanes and I climb out with a sunny disposition. I am "sunny" for a few weeks and then dip back into a few days of darkness. It's part of being a cancer...and I also blame it on my wacked out hormones from the lack of thyroid gland. I have been pseudo bipolar my whole life and I hate it. Anyhow, for those of you who read this (which I think might just be MB) here are some things I would like to get off my chest:

There is nothing more unattractive than people who can't do things for themselves. This comes mainly from my current job situation, but it can be seen everywhere around me. I wish I could say no. I am not a waitress, a travel agent, a secretary, a courier, a customer service rep, a printer repairman, a caterer, etc. Adults should not be this needy! I actually had someone ask me to provide landmarks of the building that SHE works in so that she could tell her guests coming to the meeting where HER office is. I know that my job is at the bottom of the corporate food chain, but someday I plan to be on the other end, and when I am I assure you that I will have the decency to earn my own paycheck, even if it requires me to do something unglamorous...like get my own coffee.

Dirty Dads. Okay so the weather in Charlotte was damn near perfect yesterday. It was a gorgeous fall day and I had every intention of enjoying it. I went to Freedom Park, where all of Charlotte seems to go in between lake season when we get a stint of nice weather. As I imagined, it was packed. Soccer players, strollers, joggers, dogs, geese, hippies, brides...there were all types meandering around the park taking in the sun. I showed up with my ipod in my normal workout wear- not sexy- eager to soak up some sun and take a jaunt around the park and surrounding "booty loop". Because of the bright sun, I was forced to wear my sunglasses (divots!) and from behind my sunglasses I started to observe a trend. During my 3-4 mile trek I must have passed four dozen families of mom, dad, and small tot in a stroller. I would wager to bet that of these two dozen of the dads chalantly (yes- the opposite of nonchalant) checked me out. It made no difference that they were walking hand in hand with their three year old daughter---or that their wife was two paces ahead with the Jack Russell terrier. Blatant gawks were made. And following the gawks from dad I would get a scowl from mom. Like it's my fault! I know the whole defense that looks are harmless and that "it's what guys do", but seriously amid your familial quality time I think men should be able to restrain themselves. And wifey, please redirect your anger towards your husband. I came here to loop around the pond listening to Akon and work off my egg mcmuffin. I do not have a hidden agenda to temp the poor beaten down husbands of Dilworth.

And lastly, I have to ask why so many people who are in relationships so obviously don't really want to be in relationships. Why are you wasting your time? Why are you wasting his/hers? Have you given up on finding someone that actually makes you happy? Do you care that your dishonesty is compromising their happiness? Have you given in to settling? Do you get a cheap thrill out of being a liar/cheat? I just have to ask these questions, because much like the needy people I mentioned above I also see more and more people who are in relationships for the wrong reasons...out of convenience. It's quite sad that people would rather be reckless with other people's hearts than be honest with themselves.

I digress. I feel a bit better now.